two leaves and a bud

i am so happy today because of the following reasons:

i thought i was late to dance but it had, in actuality, been cancelled for today. so
i made my way to the wired scholar where i discovered one of my
nashville favorites:
two leaves and a bud tea, the tea of choice at FIDO.

so right now, instead of dancing across the floor from corner to corner
i am dressed in a comfy cut-up johann sebastian bach tee and jeans
with a cup of white peony blossom in hand.

i am so enjoying just sitting in the shop and sipping and writing. it reminds me of the start of last year when i had so much hope and fight and determination after a season of struggle, after a season filled with the feeling of having waved my white flag one too many times. i remember last fall, being so thankful to even be in school, to be in a beautiful place, to be in control of what i'm learning and accomplishing. i am reminded of that this morning, and those feelings of hope and determination and thankfulness return to me, encouraging me that
even though this semester is kicking my tail
i am more than capable of kicking it right back. and i will.
booyah!

christmas isn't that far away.
88 days.

this weekend - blowing rock roomie date.
2 weekends until the fair!
then halloween, where i'm determined to dress as a W.A.C. member.
meanwhile, the leaves will be getting richer and richer in color.
and november will show up, beckoning me to spend money on christmas presents before the rush.
thanksgiving.
then the best time of year.

i think i can, i think i can.

veggie burrito mondays

i have an hour and twenty minutes until i have to be in at work. i can't even say how thankful i am even for this small amount of time to just sit and have nowhere to be. those moments are precious to me right now.

there are people who gain their purpose and motivation by being around others.
i am the general of the opposing camp.
if i don't have alone time every so often in a day, i get worn down so easily. i get stressed. i get frazzled and everything, even fun things, seem like too much to handle. ask my mom. i've called her about 9 gagillion times over the past few weeks saying everything short of a desperate "mommy!" ... i think i actually did say that.

something about this semester is tougher than the others. but i know i am well prepared for this. what i want out of my life right now isn't easy. i don't just receive it, i also have to fight for it, fingers curled into a fist and ready to get dirty.

i want to make good grades, i want to be a good employee, i want to be involved, i want to live life to the full, i want to be healthful (the word "healthy" just doesn't cut it sometimes), i want to be a good friend, i want to be musical and write and perform, i want to walk closer to the Lord than i have ever known, right now in this time that i feel farther from Him in a different way than i've ever known.

any one of those things would be hard enough on their own. put it together and i'm one busy lady with very little free moments to revamp. must. schedule. freetime.

i'm sure the people in the wired scholar are wondering what that girl is doing in the sweatpants and hoodie, hunched over the keyboard and a to-go plate of veggie burrito. gotta get over that whole "caring what people think about me" thing.

modern dance has become a special little blessing in my life. we do ridiculous stuff. today we danced the word "push". last week it was "glide" and "punch". i love it for some reason and i know i look hilarious, but i'm not alone. i let myself dance and move without inhibition, i walk away feeling refreshed.

without inhibition. perhaps if i could just inject that into every little aspect of my life...


today is beautiful here. i looked out the window in spanish and saw mountains and changing leaves (the "do i honestly go to school here?" moment du jour).



i got a tattoo when i was eighteen. since then i've gone through cycles of loving it, to wishing i could tweak it, to wanting to add to it, to wanting to erase it, to appreciating what it meant to me when i decided that's what i wanted. today i needed that reminder and i'm thankful,

God delights in me and in you. always. feverishly. even when we're fighting between the wisdom of men and the wisdom of Christ that is hard to believe in our own understanding, He looks on us and says "Hephzibah, my delight is in you"

good stuff. the stuff of life.

p.s. really excited about the North Carolina State Fair!

i am not

i am not superwoman. my own strength is so ... not strength.


today i missed a class because i completely forgot that i even had it.
sunday night i missed a cappella practice for the same reason. completely forgot.


and i have a fever, and my nose is all red and snotty, and i look bloated.


where is my head???


my room is all messy with clean clothes.


you know me, i am a chronic romanticist. well there's no romanticizing my way outta this one! it's only the second week of school, people!


notes, emails, comments, letters, mix tapes/cd's, voicemails, and texts of encouragement are sooo welcomed!

so, i'm off to heed the advice of steph:
- take a deep breath
-put on good music
-know that people love me as is
-know that i will get through this school year with style and class.

"Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble" - Psalm 119:165


if only i could get a dose of peace the same way i can get a dose of 1000 milligrams of vitamin c. thanks emergen-c.