i am sighing into the giant empty world of blogspot that, right now, is a kind world of possibility and a friendly listening ear.
over the past week i've become a renter of movies. i got my wisdom teeth removed tuesday morning, and after two days straight of drug-enhanced super-napping and applesauce eating, i have had three (3) rentals from blockbuster. i'm usually just fine with the movies i own and know i love. i'm not much of a risk-taker when it comes to movies, and i'd rather spend the $4 on a burger and a shake, or new shampoo. i started off with The Holiday, moved on to Charlie Bartlett, just finished up Becoming Jane and am now settling down for a made-for-tv masterpeice starring ashley tisdale, which doesn't really count but i'm watching it and... maybe enjoying? :) okay, definitely enjoying! i can't help it... i'm a sucker for really cheesy teen romantic comedies.
it's been nice to be home. although i haven't been able to enjoy my usual raleigh activities such as ample cookout eating and late-night drives to krispy kreme, it's been refreshing to have a week to literally have nothing on the schedule. no work. no school. no plans. just rest, relaxation, recovery, and blockbuster movies.
i've been able to spend a good deal of time with my mom, too. the past few years have been spotted with hardships and disconnectedness within my family, and the current situation is one that will probably take a lifetime to learn how to deal with. this house, this neighborhood... the feeling of "home" becomes more and more distant with each visit, and more sentimental when it hits me. i'm growing up.
my mom is a sweet, kind-hearted, beautiful woman. she has never hoped for extraordinary things for her own life. she is sixty years old, loves getting her hair "done", and is an amazing artist. she is stuck in a failed marriage wrought with financial ruin and told me today that she doesn't have a lot to be happy about.
i tried to memorize the way she was willingly speaking about when she was "my age", her form rocking back and forth against the summer green backdrop of our front yard, her voice barely louder than the chaos of crickets that are so characteristic of raleigh in july.
i wish i could say something of importance.
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on a different note, i am now the proud owner of my grandfather's typewriter. mom found it hidden in the basement, untouched by the parade of yard sales we've had over the past few years in attempt to prepare for "downsizing". it's beautiful, old, black, with "William Samuel Long" written in red ink taped to the inside. my mom test wrote on it, family names, symbols, and "now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country". my mom said that's the sentence everyone learned how to type with back in the day, so naturally, that's what she typed to test out the old typewriter.
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i'm unsure of what the rest of the summer holds. i'm starting to get excited about school resuming, with a stellar line-up of classes and back-to-school lists. for nancy, this summer has been life-changing, with a new, beautiful marriage in tow. heather is radiant, back from a year in costa rica, with a man we all approve of. for jess, this summer marks a realization of the closeness and reality of her music career. i'm not sure what it has been for me just yet. but it's been good, and i'm three teeth lighter. i'll save the self-assessment for later :)
hopefully i'll finish the books i'm currently in the middle of (Total Money Maker - Ramsey; A Field Guide to Getting Lost - Solnit; One Writer's Beginning- Welty), make it to yoga a few times, catch up on some correspondence, see She & Him in concert, take a few pictures, and maybe, just maaaaybe, see the beach.
man, am i going to be happy when i can eat with gusto!
p.s. run's house is awesome.
love, sam
