veggie burrito mondays

i have an hour and twenty minutes until i have to be in at work. i can't even say how thankful i am even for this small amount of time to just sit and have nowhere to be. those moments are precious to me right now.

there are people who gain their purpose and motivation by being around others.
i am the general of the opposing camp.
if i don't have alone time every so often in a day, i get worn down so easily. i get stressed. i get frazzled and everything, even fun things, seem like too much to handle. ask my mom. i've called her about 9 gagillion times over the past few weeks saying everything short of a desperate "mommy!" ... i think i actually did say that.

something about this semester is tougher than the others. but i know i am well prepared for this. what i want out of my life right now isn't easy. i don't just receive it, i also have to fight for it, fingers curled into a fist and ready to get dirty.

i want to make good grades, i want to be a good employee, i want to be involved, i want to live life to the full, i want to be healthful (the word "healthy" just doesn't cut it sometimes), i want to be a good friend, i want to be musical and write and perform, i want to walk closer to the Lord than i have ever known, right now in this time that i feel farther from Him in a different way than i've ever known.

any one of those things would be hard enough on their own. put it together and i'm one busy lady with very little free moments to revamp. must. schedule. freetime.

i'm sure the people in the wired scholar are wondering what that girl is doing in the sweatpants and hoodie, hunched over the keyboard and a to-go plate of veggie burrito. gotta get over that whole "caring what people think about me" thing.

modern dance has become a special little blessing in my life. we do ridiculous stuff. today we danced the word "push". last week it was "glide" and "punch". i love it for some reason and i know i look hilarious, but i'm not alone. i let myself dance and move without inhibition, i walk away feeling refreshed.

without inhibition. perhaps if i could just inject that into every little aspect of my life...


today is beautiful here. i looked out the window in spanish and saw mountains and changing leaves (the "do i honestly go to school here?" moment du jour).



i got a tattoo when i was eighteen. since then i've gone through cycles of loving it, to wishing i could tweak it, to wanting to add to it, to wanting to erase it, to appreciating what it meant to me when i decided that's what i wanted. today i needed that reminder and i'm thankful,

God delights in me and in you. always. feverishly. even when we're fighting between the wisdom of men and the wisdom of Christ that is hard to believe in our own understanding, He looks on us and says "Hephzibah, my delight is in you"

good stuff. the stuff of life.

p.s. really excited about the North Carolina State Fair!