so i stand up, walk towards the door, and politely excuse myself.

i really, really want to rearrange my room.
"wait til you're done with the semester"

i really want to read the FITNESS magazine which lies casually on my bed to my right.
"but you have to submit to your online class right NOW!"


maybe it's because i'm on my period that....

1. i'm not making any sense
2. i'm eating everything in sight. even everything not in sight that i just think up. like today i thought "i want pizza" out of nowhere so i ordered up a medium pizza from the pizzeria and then decided i should probably eat a slice of tiramasu cheesecake to go with it. and then soda? holy whale!
3. i listened to 2 lines of some ray lamontagne song and started thinking about anything and everything and started crying in my bed because i miss people and i'm tired and i'm irritated and my wallet is constantly empty
4. my best is not good enough sometimes. that is a fact of life.
5. i feel guilty about EVERYTHING.


so i started listening to christmas songs accidentally... and i love it. what kind of.... what is this??
2 weeks 2 weeks 2 weeks.
hey if i see you i'll give you big hug and if YOU see ME give me a big hug! we can do this!


these are some great things about life recently,
which i am listing because i'm feeling so guilty about being a big fat whiner.

1. my dear friend is letting me have a diana camera he found for a very small price! hallelujah!
2. i finished my creative nonfiction essay and i kind of like it! (if you'd like to read it, click on the "my writing collection" link to the right just over there) ---->
3. the weather is going to be great this weekend
4. i got to just sit and have a really great conversation with a sweet friend today in the coffee shop
5. i keep having really cool dreams
6. i don't deserve favor but i get it
7. dr. b looked me right in the eye today and said "hey, how are you doing?"... i must look more stressed than i thought. but it's wonderful to know people are aware