me sueño

last night i had a dream that i thought i had read a huge chunk of the Bible. from my dream point of view i saw that i opened up in the Old Testament and then i realized that i was already in Matthew. and i couldn't decide if i had read everything in between or not. but i felt very triumphant. reading the Bible consistently has always been hard for me, such a daunting task, such a delicate balance between reverence of the past, taking history and culture and writing styles and languages into context, and applying those spiritual themes presented to a new time, culture, and language. applying it to me.

and then i dreamed (or dreamt, whichever you prefer) that some girl i know, i don't remember who, became really successful at what she was doing. and i wanted to tell her because she didn't realize it.

i wish i could remember!!

i love good dream nights.



i keep getting more and more ideas for songs. i wish i had an upright piano in my apartment! since my guitar is there, i always pick it up and start writing, but i'm definitely not as skilled on guitar as i am on the piano. neither are extremely comfortable for me to play in front of people, but i'm working on that.

because when i see a stage, and i see someone doing what they do well on that stage, it's like fireworks go off...
synapses go crazy.

i'm jealous
i'm overwhelmed, in a good way
i'm hungry
i want to share my songs with people.
i realize how much work it takes to get from where i am to there,
and get there well.
doing it justice, you know?

maybe i'm thinking i'm willing to put in the work, finally.