gift

man i'm loving this.

it may be 50% hormones or 60% it the fact that it's summer or 70% of it that i'm sleepy and 90% of it that i'm listening to particularly good music right this very moment or that i'm reading a good book or

mostly because i get stupidly inspired at the most random details

but i'm just loving this.
i think about so many things and about where the Lord has traveled with me in the past few years.
and how i'm exactly where i want to be.
sometimes i miss people, and things, and places, but it makes this moment so much sweeter, knowing i should suck all the marrow out of it so i don't miss it so bad later.
i have one more semester of traditional schooling.
i'm on the brink of doing the very things i am passionate about, the things that i pour over and work at, claw at, stare at and mull over and still love to do, and getting compensated for it.
i don't know details and, hallelujah, i don't even have to.

and this solid lump develops in my throat, just behind the jugular at the base of the tongue, and i feel like if i open my mouth the only thing that would come out are cries and praise and music notes.

my feet hurt, and my hips and back. i feel like an old woman and all i want to do is not have any makeup on and wear sweat pants and read and eat grits.
but i told my friend how many hours i've worked this week and they said, "now that's a woman!" and it made me feel good about myself.

i also got nailpolish as a gift yesterday.
i love getting gifts of things i don't need and wouldn't buy for myself but i totally want.