oh my goodness.

i'm like a freaking 8th grader here.

nothing against 8th graders, i mean, they're great. but not if you're acting like one and you are in fact, 20. maybe it is great though, for a change.

my cheeks are on fire right now. more on that later.

sheesh!



okay, so, my cheek color is no longer beet red and i've had time to process. in essence, the overall feeling is - i have simply forgotten what it feels like to be treated like a lady.

i went on a date. not an ambiguous "could be a date but might not be but might be and i feel like i'm being trixed either way" date. i try to be really thankful either way, and to kind of go-with-the-flow for whatever happens, to just enjoy the company no matter what form it comes in. but it was so nice, and so fresh, to just be... treated. to be told "i'm excited about our date". to have the door opened for me but not super-excessively or awkwardly, and for the guy to act like he's privileged to have taken me out.

it's not like we did anything super-special. mexican and milkshakes... topped off with man vs wild. lots of laughing. this, this is my idea of a great time.

i've been really just... exhausted... from being treated like... not a lady. i've come to expect it. now, this is no feminist soap-box i am stepping on right now. i so appreciate my guy friends, and i know the reason that females are viewed negatively is just as much what females ask for as it is anything else (believe me, i know. i am one). but the recent past has had a string of not-so-gentlemanly interactions. there have been times that i've walked away thinking, "what is so wrong with me that this is like this?" when, although i am not void of quirks and baggage, there isn't anything so wrong with me. there are decent men out there wanting to simply spend time to get to know a kick-a girl, and to treat them so nicely and purely and .... good.



okay, so, all that to say, had a good time, and it's so nice to feel like a lady.

i feel silly for typing all of that.