new week's resolutions and all the things going way too fast

aaahll alalalala

life. life life life. blife crife strife.


i've got a few new week's resolutions this week. and i feel like i can take a minute and note them all (or mostly) because:

my parents came up to boone this weekend and brought my lovely entertainment center from raleigh and it has these little bookshelves with lights in it and i lined up all my books with my records and mydvdsanditalllookssobeautifuland organiiiized!

and we ate steak. so that was wonderful for my valentines date, and it gave me a legitimate reason to respectfully decline other valentines date offers (you know how i feel about dates on valentines day just because it's valentines day and it makes everything awkwardish)

okay.
organized. bed kinda made. pj's on. schedule to my right (underneath the j.crew february catalog)

man. we've just been trucking alone with school, day after day, week after week.
day after day of things scheduled by the hour.
even on the weekends.
and it's hard to keep on keeping on sometimes. hello? a break could not come any sooner!
let's take a look at tomorrow for instance:

spanish at 9.
workout 10-11, then shower and getting ready in the locker room.
need to stop by the financial aid office.
need to practice for voice lesson before 1:30.
voice lesson at 1:30.
i need to eat at some point.
and breathe.
creative non-fiction at 3:30.
studio at 5.
dinner at 6.
practice at 7.
concert at 8 for music credit.


i just got a horrible pit-in-my-stomach kind of feeling. why do we do this to ourselves? americaaaa, i blame youuuu, i'm bitter bitter bitter and i'm going to europe to spite you! uuuuugh i need a hug. an afternoon. a letter saying sam you're so awesome and i want to eat ice cream with you.

i think i can i think i can i think i can. plus i really enjoy all the people i see during all of these activities (okay, all except for skinny mean girl in spanish, more about her later) and i love singing french and german, and singing in general, and dr. porterfield's little delights. and creative non-fiction. i really like most of the activities i'm actually doing. it's just the having to do them, short little hits of them, back to back and hour after hour. makes us weary and haggard and irritable. or me.

so my new weeks resolutions will be helpful to take the sting out of doing so much and will help me to focus on everything i can accomplish if i really really try (and drink a lot of coffee/tea)

-keep on keeping on with national body challenge
-take lots and lots of pictures with my borrowed camera (thanks mom)
-i wish my roommate would not watch tv really loudly in the living room because she has a tv in her room and i just want to turn the tv off right now, and i read somewhere that it's not good to have your laptop in your bedroom because it makes it harder to fall asleep... something about separating work and social space with relaxation space... or something
-that wasn't a resolution
-try to be a vegetarian this week and this week only in attempt to fulfill the first resolution in a new way. gotta spice things up a bit so i don't get bored.
-my roommate just went into her room and tv. is. off. but now her tv in her room is on really loud. maybe i'm just cranky because i'm tired and i just want to crawl into my closet and write songs for the next week or so.
- no cookout runs this week and i'm READY. don't even try to ask me to go. i won't go. i won't do it.
-go to the library 2 times with the sole intention being to do homework.
-finish one new song and record it not in my closet. or in my closet. whatever works.

okay,

not in your strength, sam.

jess is coming this weekend, so hugs will be had!! and music will be made!!